Book of Revenge: Patient (Part 4)

Book of Revenge: Patient (Part 4)

• by BoundInRibbons, Apr 15, 2016, 9:04:37 PM
• Literature / Prose / Fiction / General Fiction / Introductions & Chapters

Kendal and Karen - Baby Barbie!
(Picture courtesy HinaYui)

As Karen rooted around in the bag looking for something, I figured I needed to get her talking, see what I could find out about what was really going on here.  Why was she doing this?  My eyes cast back to the black book laying with the medical papers.  It's what Karen had looked at when I asked her why she was doing all this to me.  I was certain it had to have something to do with all this.  I had to know what it was.  So I began to devise a subtle and cunning plan to figure out how I could get Karen to reveal the truth about the black book.  After some intense thought, I came up with a way to get that information.

  "So what's in that black book?  It looks pretty beat up.  Have you had it a long time?"  Karen snapped her head up to look at me, eyes narrowed, then she tried to act as if she hadn't heard me.  I'd touched a nerve obviously.  But what?  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to upset you."  She tilted her head, as if she wasn't sure how to take my comment.  I waited patiently, giving her an opening to talk.  After a long, awkward silence, she took it.

  "When I was a child, the therapist told me I needed to write down my nightmares as a way to confront them during the light of day."  She reached to the black book, gently stroking the cover.  "But, unknown to my therapist, I started to do more than write down the nightmares.  I started to write down how I would get revenge for every one.  Every single time I got a nightmare, I came up with an appropriate revenge."  Slowly, she turned towards me, holding the book forward.  Now, I could clearly see the book said 'REVENGE' on the front.  But the text wasn't so much written as it was scrawled on the cover.  The lines had been traced again and again until they gouged into the cover.  It was the writing of a deranged person.  She turned towards me, looking pleased, but for the first time, I saw something truly disturbing in her.  Karen's eyes were alight with madness and I felt a chill.  "Now we're going to make every revenge come true."  She paused, opening the cover and flipping through some pages.  She smiled a sad, creepy smile.  "I was such a very creative child." she said, offhandedly.  "And there's a lot of them, you know.  I was in therapy for a very long time."  I was taken aback.

  "But me?  I... We were just kids!  Why?"  I was sincere.  Sure, we'd had a strange upbringing, but I hadn't done anything to her.  Even the one thing... The one thing I did feel guilty about, that time she was tied to the monkey-bars, wasn't really my fault.  If Karen's mom hadn't made her wear ribbons and bows so she could be tied up, if she hadn't attacked me and made me tie her up, if the other kids hadn't taken advantage of her being tied up... I won't say I was blameless, but it was hardly just my fault!  And other than that, I had been a good kid!  I'd gone out of my way to take blame for everything.  I'd protected her from her strict mother.  What damage was she talking about?  I must've said that out loud.

  "YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL!!" she screamed at me.  She paused, collecting her cool and calming.  When she resumed, her voice was flat.  "My entire life, you were the one behind all the bad things."  She began ticking things off her mental checklist.  "You were the reason my father left.  My mother told me he couldn't handle kids.  KIDS!  If there was just me, he would've stayed.  You were the one who made my mother such a perfectionist.  If she only had me for a kid, she would've been caring and supporting, but you sucked that all out of her.  You're the one who made her have such high standards!  And then when we were kids, you tied me up!  Made me feel helpless!  And you taunted me!  You called me names and you made my life hell!"  She turned to me, the fury in her voice becoming almost pleading.  "Why couldn't anyone see?  You were the bad kid.  I was the good kid.  But I was the one who always got punished!"  She turned to me, and with a low, sad voice she spoke.  "I had nightmares about being punished for the things you did!" 

  My jaw went slack.  What could I say to that?  None of that was me!  I mean, I guess I had tied her up.  But it was only when she had a temper tantrum, which was pretty often I admit.  But I'd only ever tied her up when she'd attacked me first!  And I never, ever did anything 'bad' to her.  Well, except for the monkey-bars.  And maybe I did tie her to that rocking horse.  That really was a very vulnerable position for a young girl to be put in, thinking back.  I'd tried to keep an eye on her so she would be safe, but I was a kid.  Sometimes I forgot and left her there.  I could see how maybe every time I'd tied her up, I'd teased her a bit too.  But it wasn't malicious!  I was just trying to get her to calm down!  But I never did any of the rest of that stuff!  I didn't make her dad leave!  I didn't make her mom anything!  And I'd never been the one taunting or teasing her, that wasn't me at all!  She was having nightmares with me at fault, but it was about stuff that never, ever happened!
 
  For a moment, I considered that it was my fault.  Maybe if my family wasn't there, her father would've stayed.  Maybe if I'd spoken up as a child, her mother might've been more relaxed with her standards.  Maybe if I'd challenged the kids at school, I could've protected her from the bullying.  For a moment, I could see how the things I hadn't considered could've made me a monster in her world.

  But then common sense took over.  Wait a minute!  That was just silly.  I WAS A CHILD what that all happened!!  Her father, her mother, what happened at school... I was too young to be held up for any blame.  And I wasn't her tormentor.  The things I did do, I did to help!  I was her savior!  Whenever something went wrong, I was always quick to say "I did it."  But it almost never actually was my fault.  I was only doing that so Karen wouldn't be punished by her mother!  Karen's mom would always punish Karen, holding her to impossible standards and wouldn't punish me, so by taking the blame for everything, I was saving Karen, right?  So it couldn't be my fault!  Tieing her up wasn't something I did to terrorize her, it was something I did to protect her from herself!  I mean, it was always done in self-defense when she was so furious she was attacking with the intent of causing me harm, right?  And the rest of it... Karen was as much at fault as I was.  If she could just see it my way... If she could just see the truth!

  "Karen, listen to me.  I was a kid.  We were just kids.  And I never did anything, I only pretended to take the blame because your crazy mother... GUHH GOO GAH" I said as I once again fell back in the crib.

  "DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER!" Karen screamed at me.  She seemed furious!  Karen had obviously activated the chastity device via remote control.  Again, the simulation from the device was blowing up my nervous system, and I couldn't control my extremities.  I laid back, my arms and legs kicking and grasping.  She held down the button, putting it right where I could see it, where I could've grabbed it if I could control my arms.  It continued to buzz and buzz.  'Turn it off', I thought.  Karen had just read the section in my medical report that said extended stimulation could paralyze me for life.  I looked at her, pleading, but the device just kept buzzing.  This was by far the longest this had continued.  The fireworks in my brain stopped being pulses and flashes, and started to become one, long continuous bright light.  My arms and legs slowly stopped moving.  I could no longer feel them.  My vision started to fade into a kaleidoscope of light.  I could feel myself receding...  And then the buzzing stopped.  I gasped in air, thinking that she'd just paralyzed me for life.  Terrified that they wouldn't respond, I tried .  My arms and legs were numb and frozen in place.  I couldn't move...

But slowly, slowly my arms and legs started spasming again and feeling started to return.  I wasn't paralyzed.  Oh, thank goodness!  But somehow, I knew I'd come close.

Meanwhile, Karen had walked back up, matter of fact with no sign of any anger, and began to put that huge, infantile diaper back on me while she spoke and while I continued to grasp at nothing and kick air helplessly waiting for the effect to wear off.

  "You want to know the funny thing?  You want to know the amazing thing?  My therapist helped me deal with the dreams by telling me to imagine that I was growing up, and you, the memory of you, were still a child.  'Picture yourself as you are now, Karen.  And picture your tormentor as he was, as a small child.'  I knew what she was trying to do.  She was trying to show me how I was getting stronger and the memories were smaller and weaker and fading away."  The huge, fluffy diaper now in place, Karen gave it a tug to show how firmly it was attached.  Karen then pulled out a pair of baby booties.  Pink with a white lace frill, she began putting them on my feet.  I of course could offer no resistance.  Even with the device off, it would still take a few minutes before I regained control of my limbs.  She grabbed my foot around the ankle.  I couldn't even pull my foot away from her grasp.  I could do nothing but listen helplessly as she effortlessly held my foot still and slid the bootie on.

  "She wanted me to deal with it in a healthy way.  I did, but not in the way she told me.  She wanted me to imagine growing up and leaving you behind.  Letting you fade away.  But I wasn't going to let an evil boy like you just get away with it.  Oh no!  Instead, I imagined me growing bigger and stronger and coming back for revenge.  Instead, I began to imagine making you my helpless plaything making up for the things you'd done."  She smiled, made a little tickling motion on my bare foot, then put the other bootie on it.  "I would imagine all the elaborate things I would do if I had you helpless.  All the ways you would be forced to make up for what you did to me, the way you made me feel.  And in all of the revenge I visualized, I was an adult, and you were just a child.  That's impossible, isn't it?  There's just no way that could happen, right?  No one stays a child."  She looked down on me, laying in the crib with stuffed animals scattered about, wearing a huge padded diaper, arms and legs sticking up in the air and moving back and forth exactly like an infant.  And she smiled a wistful smile.  "Except it did happen."  Karen then exerted immense strength tying the booties into ultra tight knots.  I suspected she wouldn't be able to untie them.  I knew I wouldn't be able to.  The knots would have to be cut off.  She pulled out a matching pair of baby mittens, perfectly sized to bind my hands and make them useless padded fists.  As Karen continued speaking, her face was becoming flushed, and she started breathing heavily.  I think she was almost getting... Euphoric? 

  "It's funny.  You became my inspiration.  I learned how to weld, because one of my favorite fantasies required that I be able to build a large metal structure.  I can't wait to show it to you.  I learned how to sew because I wanted to make real the outfits I dreamed you were going to wear."  She leaned close to me, as if she was sharing a secret.  "Remember when my mom mentioned all those classes I took?  She didn't know half of it because I hid it from her.  I knew she'd be worried if she saw everything I was doing.  But I kept it a secret.  I learned leather-working, metal-working, how to work with small engines, all because my plans required I have those skills.  I learned about medicine, I learned how to do hair, make-up... I learned how to tattoo.  I'm very good with tattoos."

Wait a minute... Tattoos?  Welding?!  SMALL ENGINES?!?  What the hell kind of revenge fantasies was she having?!  As she spoke, I began to realize a few things.  Mostly that Karen was CRAZY!  Nuttier than a Christmas fruit cake!  I hadn't done hardly anything to her as a kid.  It was her father who had abandoned her for reasons that had nothing to do with me.  It was her mother that had warped her and twisted her childhood.  It was the other kids that had tortured her for being a weirdo.  Somehow, over the years, she had taken all of her rage and frustration and even abuse from all the people in her life and remembered how I used to pretend to be responsible for everything... Something I only did to save her!  Now, in her mind, I actually WAS responsible for everything.  And then, instead of her therapy helping her deal with reality, it had driven her into some kind of fantasy world where everything wrong in her life could only be set right by punishing me!  How could someone seem so sane but be so insane?  I listened to her continue in rapt horror.

  "So can you imagine how I felt when I heard about your endocrine troubles?  My mom told me how you weren't growing.  She even said 'Poor Kendal.  Stuck as a child.'"  Karens eyes grew wide.  "JUST LIKE IN MY DREAMS!  That was when I first started to think my dreams were coming true.  The universe WANTS me to get my revenge.  And it was back then, so long ago, that I actually started planning what would happen if we ever met again.  With my skills, I got a couple of part time jobs and saved up money.  I started to plan.  But in my fantasies, you were weaker than me.  So much weaker.  So I waited.  I was waiting for a sign from the universe that I was right, that my revenge was to be.  And then I heard later how you got that tropical disease and that you were weaker than a kitten!"  Karen patted the top of my head, lifting my braids out for inspection, giving a strong tug on the ribbons to be sure the knots were utterly secure before she continued.

  "When my mom told me what happened to you and how your mom was in a bind, needing someone to look after you for a year and how she'd reached out to us, I knew all my prayers had been answered.  I immediately offered to take a year off school to take care of you.  My mom didn't want to offer, knowing it would be a big responsibility and she didn't want me missing school, but also that she might have a chance to work on that reality show.  But I convinced her.  I worked on her day and night until she relented.  Then I worked on my school counselors too.  Of course all my plans would be for naught if she didn't get that job, but by then I wasn't worried.  I knew my revenge was destiny and that it would happen.  And of course, she got the reality show, so we could be completely alone together.  And here we are!"  With that, I regained control of my extremities.  I sat up, my hands and feet now securely bound in the babyish accessories.  Not that it mattered.  There was no way I could ever overpower Karen anyway.  Even without my disease, her size and strength gave her a tremendous advantage.  Not to mention Karen had a remote that could turn me off like a switch at her whim.  I could be permanently paralyzed just from her holding down a button for long enough!  My mind raced.  I had to figure out how to get out of this situation and my sole weapon was my wits.  The fact was I hadn't really done anything to her, but the way she saw it, I did.  Trying to change her mind, trying to convince her of my innocence was my only hope for escape, but all my attempts so far were only antagonizing her.  But how to reason with a crazy person?

  "Look Karen, I'm sorry but...", I began, but Karen interrupted.

  "No you're not.  Not yet anyway, but you will be."  Karen said with a face like stone.  She pulled a hanger out of the closet and unzipped the dress cover.  From where I was, I saw the most ridiculous confection of pink with white lace, clearly a dress just like the overdone frou-frou for child beauty pageants that filled the house.  It was an outfit that a child would reject as too babyish.  And you didn't have to be a genius to figure out who was going to be wearing it.  But Karen didn't put it on me at first.  Instead she seemed almost... Apologetic?

  "I'm sorry, but do you remember what you used to tease me with when I was in tears?  Remember how I'd just break down and cry my heart out?  There's something you used to say every time when that would happen..."  I had no idea what she was talking about.

  "No, I have no idea.  It was so long ago..."  The apologetic look disappeared, replaced with something much sterner.

  "I think you do remember.  I think you're playing with me.  And that makes me very angry.  I don't think you want me angry..."  She was right.  I didn't.  But I still had no idea what it was.

  "Could you give me a hint?"  Karen stared daggers at me.  I racked my brain.  I'd never called her anything but her name her entire life... Except wait!  I remembered what she'd called me when we met in the airport.  When people heard my name was Ken, they'd always ask if she was...

  "Barbie?" I said with trepidation.  And immediately I saw that was it.  Her demeanor changed.

  "Yes, that!  That's what you called me." she said.

  Uhh, what now?  I would swear I'd called her 'Barbie' once.  Maybe, maybe twice I might've said it when she called me a 'Ken doll' but not more than that.  It was so long ago, who remembers for sure, but that's just not something that I'd say because I knew she didn't like it.  Not to mention I knew saying it would only get her to insult me back with something that bothered me just as much.  But other kids didn't have that same barrier.  Thinking back... Yes, I remembered other people calling her that.  When we were young and went to school together, some of the other kids had teased Karen.  What had they called her?  'Big Baby Barbie' or something.  Now I remembered coming across a group of them teasing her with that name.  I told them to shut up because I could see Karen crying, but they kept calling her that because it upset her so.  And remember that, when we started school, we pretty much went our own ways.  So I didn't see much of Karen at that point at all.  So this must've been what the kids were doing to her when I wasn't around.  Just like all the other things, somehow, Karen was misremembering the taunts as coming from me instead of from her other classmates. 

  "I swear, Karen, I never said..." I could see the flash of fury in her eyes as I tried to deny it and I saw her hands reaching for the remote.  I realized even that if I was going to get through to her, it wasn't going to be on this issue and, if I pushed her, she was just going to push back.  "Oh wait, I remember.  Yes, yes, I must've said it just like you remember it."  As soon as that came out of my mouth, I saw Karen twitch.  But then she smiled.
  "Perfect.  Now, could you chant it like you used to?"  As if this wasn't weird enough...  I knew for a fact I never chanted anything!  I was a good kid, I never chanted at people.  But I didn't want to anger her.  So I gave it a try.
  "Barbie... Big baby Barbie... Big baby Barbie..." I halfheartedly chanted.  While I did, Karen slipped the dress over me.  Beside the fact it was loaded with lace, I noticed it had built in petticoats so, even when it was on, the skirting of the dress was fluffed out so my diaper was still visible.  As Karen secured the dress in back with the clearly audible click of a lock, I couldn't help but noticed what was monogrammed on the front of the dress.  In big white letters against the pink of the dress, it said 'Baby Barbie'.  My chanting stopped and I froze.  Karen took the opportunity to tie a huge, pink bonnet, one that matched the dress perfectly, on my head.  The bonnet had little holes on either side and she threaded the pigtails my hair was still in through the holes.  Realizing that the pink bows knotted into my braids matched the dress perfectly, I knew that this had been the plan all along.  Then Karen spoke.

  "All right.  Now that it's clear which one of us is 'Big baby Barbie', just a few more things to get ready and then we can go.  We have a big day ahead of us!"  I just stood there in silence.

---

Karen had lifted me out of the crib and we'd gone into the main part of the house.  She was getting things together for our 'trip'.  I was coming to the realization that I was going to have to take this trip with her, dressed as I was.

Oh, the booties and mittens were a pain.  They made it so my hands and feet were useless.  The bonnet was supremely annoying, completely removing my ability to see anything but what was right in front of my face.  That it was covered with lace and ribbons, and emphasized my blonde braided pigtails, with matching pink bow knotted at the end, wasn't pleasant.  Even the diapers were horrible.  Big padded girly diapers that were so thick I had to waddle rather than walk.  But the real humiliation was the infantile pink dress that had been locked on me.  Every time I heard it swishing as I moved, my face got redder.  Bad enough it had lace at collar and sleeve, bad enough it was baby pink with huge puffed sleeves and a built in petticoat to make the skirt stick out and expose the diapers, but it had 'Barbie' in huge letters on the front.  Could you imagine a more humiliating outfit for a man to be wearing?  I don't think you can imagine anything more humiliating.  OK, maybe I was stretching the definition of a 'man'... I was very tiny and slender for my age.  And sure I had long, blonde hair that had started as longish masculine hair, but the extended hospital stay had let grow out quite a bit beyond that, to where people would think it feminine.  But I was still at least a boy, dammit!

And all because of some mean things said to Karen when she was a kid?  Compared to what I heard most people did to their siblings, I barely did anything to Karen.  Certainly not anything that would give her nightmares for years, and force her to see a head shrink to get sorted out.  I mean, what's with all these crazy revenge fantasies anyway?  I began to suspect that Karen just didn't have a strong hold on reality and that her dreams and fantasies had come to life in her head so strongly she confused them for reality.  What she kept claiming to 'remember' had just never happened!  Karen passed by as she continued looking or whatever she was searching for.  I had to somehow find a way to bring her back to reality.

Kendal and Karen - Look in the Mirror!
(Picture courtesy HinaYui)

  "So, uhh... What's the deal with the 'Barbie' anyway?" I asked, gesturing at the dress I was wearing.  I was thinking, was this what she was going to call me now?  Or was this some kind of symbolism, indicating I was a doll?  I couldn't keep up with her fantasies.  Even Karen seemed to have to think about it.
  "Because you're Barbie now!" She answered eventually.  But then she stopped, as if to consider if she wanted to tell me something now or later.  She seemed to come to a decision.  "Oh, I might as well tell you."  She walked up behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders as she looked at us both together in the mirror, her glee at my current state completely unconcealed.  She paused to straighten the big floppy bow that was around my neck and fluff the fringe of hair that was peeking out from underneath the bonnet.  "See, when I told my therapist about how you taunted me by calling me a big baby, she suggested that I should focus on the fact that I was the 'bigger' person, and you were the lessor.  I'm pretty sure she was talking about personality though, not stature", she giggled.  She took the opportunity to grab the bonnet, one hand on either side.  Then she turned it left and right so she could look at it in profile in the mirror.  I was helplessly forced to look left and right as she did so, Karen moving me at her will like a puppet-master.  "Anyway, in the therapy sessions, I started referring to you as 'Big Baby Barbie.  Baby because you were less than I was, and, well, I hated the name Barbie.  And since I was so angry at you, it made sense to give you the name."  Holding me firmly with one hand, she used her other hand to raise my arm and make me wave at myself in the mirror.  "Who is a cute baby?  Who is that cute baby waving?" Karen cooed as she made me keep waving.  "Now... Touch your nose".  My mittened hand was brought down and I was forced to gently 'bop' myself on my nose a few times.  Annoyed and irritated, I tried to resist in my weakened state.  I had as much success as I would wrestling a bear, which is to say none at all.  She moved my arm as she wanted. After making my arms move around to her will for a while, she caught look of my face and Karen seemed to hesitate.  When she spoke, she was almost seemed apologetic.  "You know, I'm sorry that so many of my revenge fantasies involve you as a baby."  She shrugged her shoulder.  "It's that therapists fault!  She's the one who kept saying 'Visualize your tormentor as a small child!'"  With that, she put her hands in my armpits and lifted me slightly off the ground while she stood behind me.  I was helpless as she tilted me to the left, so just my left foot touched the ground.  Then she tilted me right so my right foot touched the ground... She was making me 'walk' for her in the mirror just like you'd make a doll or an infant walk.  Giggling the whole time, soon the up and down motion got springier and I realized she was making my dress and petticoat bounce for her amusement.  I tried lifting my legs in resistance, but not only did she just dip me lower so my feet touched anyway, I saw in the mirror that it was exactly how an infant reacts and it made Karen even more amused.  So I stopped resisting altogether.  "I think my therapist thought, by making you seem infantile, I wouldn't feel threatened anymore or I'd want to leave you behind.  But she was so wrong.  The more I imagined you like this, the more I wanted to make it happen.  The more I looked forward to making it a super ultra cute reality!"  Suddenly she embraced me and squeezed so hard, I could barely breathe!  I squirmed and wiggled, but to no avail, I truly was at her mercy.  Eventually she just plopped me down on the floor on my large padded bottom.  Sitting on the ground in that damnable diaper, it felt like I was sitting perched atop a huge fluffy pillow.    Karen leaned down to whisper confidentially "How could anything be better than this?  I'm feeling so much better already!  I think my therapist is crazy.  She just makes no sense sometimes."  My head whirled, trying to make sense of what Karen was babbling.  I couldn't even wrap my head around what she meant.  'There's only one crazy person and THAT'S YOU!', I wanted to shout.  But I bit my tongue.  I didn't want to anger or upset her.  Karen sat next to me on the floor, tracing the letters on the monogramming on the front of my dress, lingering on the capital letter B in the name 'Barbie'.  "So the name is all yours now... OH!  That reminds me."

With that, she went over to a cupboard and pulled out a plastic baggie with cards in it.  She dumped the bag on the floor in front of me.  Unable to grasp anything in my hands thanks to those horrible mittens, I was forced to squeeze the cards between my two fists and drag it to where I could see.  The first card that I looked at was my ID.  Well, it had my picture and my info... But the name said 'Barbie Baybi Dahl' where the first name, middle name and last name went.  I wasn't sure what the point was.  She'd made some fake ID?  The next card I dragged forward with my mittened hands was my bank card.  It was my account number, but it clearly said the same thing... 'Barbie Baybi Dahl'.  After struggling with it, much to Karen's amusement, I flipped over another card to realize it was a birth certificate.  Again it had the same 'Dahl, Barbie Baybi" on the name.  It was my birthday, but the year was wrong.  It was only... Seven years ago?  And the gender said 'Female'.  What was I looking at?

  "I don't get it", I said.  "What am I supposed to see?"  Finally, she placed some papers that looked like legal documents on the floor in front of me.  I looked at the titles, but the mittens prevented me from opening them to look at the papers inside.  "Petition for legal name change, petition for data correction... What are these?"  It showed that someone had applied to get my name legally changed from my name, Kendal, to Barbie, with Baybi as my middle name and Dahl as my last name?  As I scanned down, I saw Karen was responsible... Acting as my legal guardian?  "What did you do?  What does this mean?"  Karen giggled like a schoolgirl with a secret.

  "It means your name is now legally 'Barbie Doll' as far as the world is concerned." she said, with all the excitement of telling a child that Santa Claus was coming.
  "But how?" was all I could ask.
  "Simple" Karen answered.  "For purposes of your medical treatments, your mother had to transfer power of attorney to my mom.  If your condition got worse and we had to authorize some procedures, we'd need the legal right to be in charge of you.  Then, I talked my mom into giving me the legal right to represent her and sign documents representing her.  I argued that if she was away for months, I might need to do something with the bank or property.  So we got a lawyer and signed some papers so I now have the legal right to speak for my mom.  So now that my mom has legal rights over you, and I have the legal right to act for her... That means I have legal rights over you!  From there, it was easy to get the name change."  I was speechless.  This couldn't be real.  It had to be some kind of prank.
  "But what about the birth certificate?  This says I'm a seven year old girl?  There's no way you have the power to change that!" I said, panicked.  Karen continued giggling.

  "That one I wasn't certain I could do.  I made a petition to the records people, claiming there had been a mistake on the birth certificate, that you had been mixed up with an older boy.  I forged some other documents and sent them all in and it actually worked!  I don't know why I even tried it.  I was so sure they were going to say 'Oh, we have records from earlier than seven years ago' and just reject everything... But they instead corrected all your records retroactively.  They purged the 'erroneous' records from the system.  You now have absolutely no records that prove that you're older than seven!  Quite the opposite.  Any requests for your records will confirm you're seven!"  Her glee was almost palpable.  "You know what that means.  Now you're too young to undo any of it.  If you wanted to change your name again... You couldn't do it alone.  Only your legal guardian could do it....Me!  If you want to withdraw money from your bank account, you can't do it without me.  But I can do it without you."  She cackled at having pulled this impossible task off.  I was in shock, I didn't know what to say.
  "Why seven years old?"  Karen seemed happy to answer that question.
  "I would've gone younger, but your medical records said you were the size of an average nine year old.  I did a quick check and that put you in the range of a reasonably large seven year old, so that's as young as I could believably go.  I didn't want them to say 'Oh, this two year old is so large it's a world record.' or something."  With a wink, she affirmed that she had at least considered making my documents say I was two years old.  "Aren't bureaucracies funny?  You need to do something simple or something urgent and it takes years to sort out.  I just assumed I'd never hear anything or that someone would reject it, and instead everything comes back almost instantly, completely changed."  Her laughter rang in my ears, but then she turned a little serious.  "I think it's proof that the universe wants all this to happen.  It's like karma, you know."  What?  All I could think was that I'd like a word with who or what in the universe she was talking to!  "I'd tell you that you need to get used to using your new name, but you won't really need to sign anything for a long time so it doesn't matter.  As I said, I'll be handling everything to do with your bank account, so when your mom deposits your weekly 'allowance', I can just go withdraw it.  We should have lots of money to pay for all the materials I'm going to need!" she crowed.  "Your mom's money is paying for everything."

The idea that my mom was paying for Karen to humiliate me just made it all worse somehow.  And when Karen mentioned I wouldn't need to sign anything, that reminded me that one of the things I needed to be doing this year was re-learning how to write properly. The disease had destroyed my ability to write anything but a childish scrawl.  The doctors had said it was important that I learned to write again as soon as possible, because the longer I waited, the more difficult it would become until eventually I wouldn't be able to change it at all.  As I looked at the mittens that were turning my hands into useless fists, a cold realization that Karen had read my documents and was just as aware of that fact as I was.  Thinking about the gloves wrapped about my hands made me think about the restraint locked between my legs.  If I wasn't able to start any physical therapy, the doctors warned me I'd be like this for the rest of my life.  Was this all part of her plan?

  As bad as it is to suddenly realize your legal name is 'Barbie Doll', what actually upset me was realizing how in control of my life Karen was.  It wasn't just my day to day care.  She controlled EVERYTHING, including my medical treatment, my legal rights, my financials... I wasn't just being treated like a child, I was now legally a child.  And at this point, it was just her and I for a few months?  A few months that, according to my doctors, were critical in regaining my normal function lest I be stuck like this for the rest of my life.  What should I do?  What COULD I do?  I'd seen how pointless resistance was.  I tried to play along for now and look for some avenue of escape.

  "Ha ha, you got me.  OK, I'll be your Barbie Doll."  I got up, which was very difficult in the booties and with that enormous diaper keeping my legs apart.  "If this makes you feel better, I'm glad to help."  I shook my frilly diapered ass at Karen and tried to pose cutely in the pink dress.  Karen looked surprised.
  "Why Barbie, what a nice thing to say!" Karen said smiling sweetly, although I could detect a hint of mockery in her voice.  "I thought you'd try to deny what you'd done.  This will make things so much easier that you accept responsibility for what a horrible person you've been."  But the important part was that Karen was smiling and talking to me.  Seeing an opening I pressed on.

  "So I think I finally understand.  For one year..." I really put the emphasis on the one year part and Karen didn't object.  That gave me confidence to continue.  "... you are going to get your revenge on me.  You're going to do so by making all of the revenge fantasies you wrote out years ago in therapy come true?"  Karen nodded, smile as wide as ever.  "Even though..." I started, when Karen interjected.
  "Walk down the hall and back."  Not wanting to disrupt the conversation we were having, I did as she asked.  Her request was surprisingly difficult.  First of all, the booties that had been knotted on my feet were keeping my feet tightly curled.  That meant I couldn't walk normally, I had to kind of walk on the outside of my feet.  The immense, crinkly diaper that I wore meant I couldn't really put one leg in front of the other.  I had to waddle bow-legged.  The large swivels of my waddling insure every frill of my dress bounced about just like my petticoats.  I didn't need a mirror to know I was walking exactly the way a small child learning to walk does.  I was so mortified.  But I dared not show it and I pushed through because it seemed like I was actually getting through to Karen.  I continued speaking as I waddled down the hall.
  "Even though most of those revenge fantasies were written back before you were even a teenager?"  I couldn't see Karens response thanks to that huge, frilly bonnet monstrosity attached to my head that blocked anything that wasn't directly in front of me, but I could hear her 'Mmmhmmm' in the affirmative.  I reached the end of the hallway, and turned around to head back.
  "But it's only for one year right?  And then things are complete?  Then we're all even and I'm free to go?"  Now I could actually see Karen in front of me.  The look on her face was almost blissful.  She was staring right at me in all my frills and ribbons like a starving woman stares at ice cream.  But all she said was another 'Mmmhmm'.  I started waddling back towards her.
  "And you're not going to do anything that causes me permanent harm, right?"  That seemed to rouse her from her entranced state.
  "Harm?  As long as you are a good little Barbie and don't make me use my remote, I think that's fair to say."  I was a little concerned with how casually she mentioned a remote that could permanently paralyze me, but it sounded like she was upholding this was just a one year sentence.  And she didn't plan to leave me paralyzed... If she wanted me paralyzed, she could do that right now and there was nothing I could do.  Still, I had to confirm.
  "So, if I do what you say, in one year I will be released unchanged."  I hadn't expected that sentence to elicit laughter, but for some reason she found that funny.
  "I didn't say that, little Barbie!  Quite the opposite, I'm hoping the experiences of the upcoming year WILL change you.  But if you're worried, I will say that your changes will all be for the better."  I had a strong feeling that we might have different opinions on what 'better' meant.  "You arrived here a very flawed Kendal, but during this year, we're going to make you the absolute best little Barbie you can possibly be!"

  I dared to find that a little bit hopeful.  Maybe this wouldn't be that bad.  I mean, I needed twenty-four hour care for a year, and it sounded like Karen was going to provide that as long as I was willing to act out her childhood fantasies.   That would delay my therapy, but I would just have to work extra-hard later to make up for lost time.  How bad could it be?  Maybe if I just went along with it, I could influence her to let me do the therapy I needed as time went on.  I feigned a smile.

  "That sounds great!" I lied.  Karen smiled right back.
  
  I'm glad you feel that way.  Now, it's time to get going and... Whoops.  I almost forgot your medication."  With that, she took my hand and walked me to the kitchen.  I had to frantically waddle just to keep up with her long stride.

I'd forgotten about my medication.  Of course, I was still suffering from the troubles with my endocrine system.  I needed a regular dose of growth hormones and testosterone in order to recover from the damage.  Without the growth hormone, I'd always be stuck at my current size.  And without the testosterone... My memories went back to that horrible doctor insinuating I'd have basketballs attached to my chest.  It was imperative that I got my regular doses!

Karen pulled out a chair, but it was quickly obvious it was modified.  Someone had welded little cuffs into the legs of the chair.  Karen quickly put me at the back of the chair, and snapped my booted ankles into the cuffs.  She then effortlessly bent me over the seat back, and snapped my wrists into the front legs of the chair.  It was perfectly sized so not only was I bent over, butt in the air, but the wide brims on the enormous bonnet I was wearing prevented me from turning my head at all and keeping me unable to look anywhere but right at the chair.  I could hear Karen going to the fridge, and the 'clink' of bottles being pulled out.  She placed them on the table where I couldn't see.  Despite everything that had happened, all the craziness, all the humiliation, I suddenly felt a surge of relief.  She wasn't as crazy as she seemed.  She was still going to give me the drugs I needed.  The drugs that helped with my tremors.  My growth hormones and testosterone.  Maybe things would work out...  I was so happy, I had to tell her.

  "Karen,"  I said.  "Thank you".  And I meant it.  "I have to admit, I was worried you wouldn't give me my prescriptions."  My statement only generated a long silence as she continued to work with the medicine.  I felt a needle going into my backside.  And finally Karen spoke.
  "I wouldn't do that!  It's very important you get your medication.  Without your drugs, things like your clonic spasms would never heal and go away, they'd become permanent.  Without your growth hormones, you'd be stuck in the cute, little child body.  Without your testosterone, you'd grow hips and boobs.  Why, you'd never grow into the strapping young man you want to be without their assistance!"  What Karen was saying was reassuring, but the way she was saying it was just the slightest bit concerning.  She wouldn't would she?  I mean, she wanted revenge, but she didn't want to harm me, right?
  "Karen, you are giving me my medicine and growth hormones, right?"
  "Mmm hmm." she nodded.  "Medicine and hormones, absolutely." she said as she jabbed the needle into my thigh.  Ouch!  I was glad to hear that.  Karen had teased and tormented me, but she hadn't ever lied.  So I relaxed knowing that, whatever else, she was giving me my medicine and my hormones.  The process was repeated a few more times.  I guess the dosage was a little bit bigger than I was used to?  Karen reached under the chair to pull some lever, and then all the cuffs released.  I was free.  As we stood in the kitchen and Karen returned the bottles to the fridge, I had a newfound enthusiasm.  Maybe it seemed misplaced, but it seemed like things were not as bad as they could be.  Karen was going to look after me for a year.  In return, I'd have to play along with her silly childhood fantasies, but in the end, I'd be looked after.  It even made me curious what the year would be like.

  "So, where are we going?" I asked.  Karen tilted her head and held up a finger as if to say 'not yet'.  I went silent as she looked at her watch.  Both of us stood in silence for a few minutes before she spoke.  As she spoke, she stared at me the whole time.  It was as if she was waiting for something to start.  As we waited, I felt a hint of dizziness.  Looking around I saw the seat with the cuffs and sat in it.  It was much more comfortable when it was actually used as a seat rather than being bent over it.  Although I did notice that my ankles would now probably would fit in the cuffs where my wrists had been, which would lock me into sitting in the chair.  I kind of slouched, keeping my feet away from the cuffs.  As I finished, I looked up to a smiling Karen.  It seems that whatever she was waiting for had happened.

  "I should mention that one of the drugs I just gave you was a 'roofie'.  Well, it's not Rohypnol specifically, but it's a similar sedative that has similar memory impairment side effects.  So if everything works as it should you're not going to remember anything that happens later today.  At least that's the plan.  I'm testing out this drug to see how it works on you.
  "Why?" I asked, a question I'd been asking a lot lately.
  "I have a few things planned for you later on that are going to be super ultra fun if you wake up with no idea what happened!"  The sudden enthusiasm in her voice was disturbing.  As my eyes widened in horror at that thought, she pressed on.  "But sadly the drug affects people differently.  It doesn't work at all on some people.  Some it only works a bit.  But if this works on you, I can promise you're going to have some very, very interesting surprises in your future.  So, I'm going to ask you later what the last thing you remember is.  Try to remember as best you can for when we talk tomorrow.

That was the last thing I remembered. 

And that was just the very first chapter in Karen's 'Book of Revenge'.  It was only the beginning of a book of horrors that was to occupy the next year of my life.  How many more chapters were there?  The horror is that, given what Karen had just told me, there would be more than I could remember...